I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
