so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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