I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
