After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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