Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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