Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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