What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
