were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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