When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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