this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
