I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
