dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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