Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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