that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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