Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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