I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
