I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
