It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
