I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
