either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Screwed.edu
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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