at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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