yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
