My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
