I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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