she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Randomize
