honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
