Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
