meet me or not, i'm out of control
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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