Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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