Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
we have officially lost it.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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