i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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