I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
