One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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