I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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