I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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