so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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