she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize