no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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