anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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