I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
