yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
