I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
