I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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