She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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