I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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