I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
