He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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