brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
