"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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