I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
