I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize