Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
