I think i sorta joined a cult last night
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
