you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
