i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
