I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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