That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
