Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
