Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
