Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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