eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
